Parent-Teacher Conferences
Although the school year is just getting underway, it’s not too early to think about parent and teacher communications as well as the upcoming parent-teacher conferences. Here are a few tips and resources to help you communicate with parents and help them become your partner rather than remain a bystander or become a foe.
Debbie Fly, an experienced teacher, writes about a mnemonic she uses to help her with conferences in an ASCD Classroom Leadership article: “The ABCs of Parent-Teacher Conferences.”
A—Always begin and end a conference on a positive note.
B—Be courteous; don’t talk negatively about other students or teachers.
C—Chairs should be arranged so that there are no barriers between you and the parents.
I think Debbie was wise to add a fourth letter to the list: T for Treat parents the way you would like to be treated. If we keep this idea in mind in our interactions with parents, as well as with students, co-workers, and anyone else we encounter, we’ll be well on our way to establishing great working relationships with one another.
Debbie also uses email as a way to communicate with parents. Parents sometimes feel less intimidated through email and are more willing to express their thoughts. It also might provide an alternative to face-to-face meetings. However, I would add a caveat to this way of communicating. Email messages lack the body language and voice inflections present in face-to-face communication. Sometimes the sender and the recipient of an email might be in different emotional states of mind at the time they are interacting with the email. Since the email lacks body language and voice inflection, it’s easy for a recipient to read more into the email than is actually there. This can lead to confusion, anger or hurt feelings. Therefore, read your email before you send it to look for possible words or phrases that could be misinterpreted. Then read it again. Then read it one more time.
When reading emails from parents, give parents the benefit of the doubt. Try not to infer negative intentions from the emails. However, if there is no doubt that the message is meant to be insulting or inflammatory, remember that your response needs to be professional. Remember: we need to treat parents the way we want to be treated. In fact, it is probably best not to answer the email with another email, but instead arrange for a face-to-face conference with the parent. Email is never the way to work through a disagreement.
Addie Gains has an informative powerpoint about parent-teacher conferences at EducationWorld. Addie reminds us that the purposes of these conferences is to provide the opportunity for communication between parents and the teacher, to build cooperative relationships, to provide parents with ideas to help their children’s school performance, to allow the teacher to understand the child better, and to establish a relationship that makes it easier for parents and teachers to initiate contact with one another.
So, what do parents want to know about you? Addie tries to remember three Cs: Competence, Confidence, and Compassion.
Parents want to know that you’re competent. If you show you are competent, parents will trust and respect you. In order to show parents at a conference that you are competent, think through these questions:
- Are you organized and prepared?
- Do you have student work examples?
- Are you knowledgeable?
- Are you on time?
- Do you have helpful materials?
Parents want to that you’re confident. If you exude confidence, parents and students will have more confidence in you. Consider these questions when thinking about conveying confidence:
- Do you feel comfortable conducting the conferences?
- Are you relaxed, thereby putting parents at ease?
- Are you a willing, active listener?
- Are you in a problem-solving, “teamwork” frame of mind?
- Did you leave defensive words and responses at home?
Parents want to know that you are compassionate. Here are some questions to think about when it comes to showing your compassion:
- Do you show that you genuinely care about the child?
- Are you warm and welcoming?
- Are you smiling?
- Are you friendly?
- Is your room arranged comfortably?
I’ll continue with this topic next week with information on effective communication.
Resources to help you prepare for conferences:
Preparing for a Parent-Teacher Conference: A Teacher’s Checklist for a Successful Parent Meeting
http://www.suite101.com/content/preparing-for-a-parentteacher-conference-a71880
Parent-Teacher Conferences: A Checklist for Success
http://www.d158.net/ParentsPage/Parent-TeacherConferences.pdf
Parent-Teacher Conference Outline/Checklist
http://www.homeofbob.com/cman/tchrTls/parntTchrConf.html
A Parent’s Checklist from Scholastic
The ubiquitous cell phone has become the bane of many teachers and administrators. You know the scenario– students with their hands hidden in their laps or pockets, staring straight ahead, while still managing to send and receive text messages from friends in the classroom, or a classroom down the hall, or even beyond the confines of the building. In some districts, this usually leads to seizure of the offending phones or at least a few admonitions.
